So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
