if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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