I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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