i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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