You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
