He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
