He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize