You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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