Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
