the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
