ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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