I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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