Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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