"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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