he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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