Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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