im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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