I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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