Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
