Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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