I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
