I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize