Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
