I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
