She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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