They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
