I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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