Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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