Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize