508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize