from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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