I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
