they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
