Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
ok first of all what the fuck
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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