Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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