Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
