i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
