this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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