What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i dont even know how to be here
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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