Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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