there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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