Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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