She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
