How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
