We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
