By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
