The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
