I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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