Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
