Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
