your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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