In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm at about main and main street
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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