I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
