So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I wish i was in the wii world.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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