What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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