he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
