Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
