Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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